Properly, I used to be seduced once more. I went on the Sézane web site, noticed that completely every thing on there would virtually undoubtedly make me appear to be a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies after which ordered a load of stuff.
It arrived (after un petit delay), I unwrapped my haul from its très fairly paper and tried every thing on. Did I instantly appear to be a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies?
Mais non.
In all probability one thing to do with the truth that I’m not twenty and so my boobs, completely positive although they’re, wouldn’t have the type of lush, rounded fulsomeness that may make a bog-standard cotton henley t-shirt look probably the most alluring garment ever created.
And in addition to do with the truth that Sézane are merely masters of styling and French-cool clothes presentation to the purpose of near-deception. They might make a binbag look come-hither. How they’ve managed to make their “Brut Attractive” denims look good within the photographs is past me – in actual life they’ve the weirdest form that appears utterly at odds with each single a part of the human anatomy.
(You want house on your hips? No can do. However hear: we’ve taken the house that you simply wanted in that département and allotted it to the thigh space. And sure, we all know they’re a bit brief within the leg however don’t fear – we’ve added that cloth proper to the highest to be able to really feel much more uncomfortably encased in stiff, unyielding denim.)
I jest. Sézane make some really very lovely things. It’s simply that – for me at the least – the truth of attempting them on is so, so removed from the fantasy I purchase into once I browse the positioning. As a result of sure, the outsized shirt is attractive however am I actually going to put on it unbuttoned to the navel (from each prime and backside) with no bra beneath? Je thinks not. Sure the cardigans are by some means probably the most seductive-looking cardigans on earth however am I going to pop to Sainsbury’s with my cardi hanging totally off one shoulder? Or worn again to entrance? Will I be capable to weigh my bananas on the free gadgets scales with out shedding my knitwear totally?
It’s like this ongoing shoulder robing pattern. (Stick with me.) Trend individuals on-line typically put on their coats thrown over their shoulders, like cloaks, fairly than placing their arms by way of the sleeves like normal subject coat-wearers. This makes almost each single coat they put on look each glorious and extremely dramatic because of the additional quantity created and the truth that they now have this spectacular square-shouldered silhouette, like a quarterback. You’ll be able to see why medieval lords flung a cloak on: immediate gravitas and don’t fuck with me, Badulf vibes.
However there’s an issue with shoulder-robing your coat and it’s this: you can’t presumably carry out any type of activity, even probably the most menial, with out having your arms correctly poked by way of your sleeves. For those who shoulder gown then your arms successfully turn out to be pinioned to your sides – in case you transfer them an excessive amount of, or in case you determine in a sudden, irrational second that you simply’d prefer to stoop down to select up the cellphone you’ve simply dropped or to tie a shoelace in an effort to stop your self from tripping and breaking your personal neck, the coat will slide off.
What a time to be alive.
Anyway, hats off to Sézane as a result of they’ve completely acquired me. I’m by no means not going to be lured in by photographs of fashions with completely undone Sam McKnight hair wanting effortlessly cool and youthful and un petit peu kittenish. At the same time as I kind this put up I’ve one other tab open: for his or her new season assortment that has simply dropped at present. (Discover it here*.) And there are at the least 5 gadgets in my basket already that I do know will immediately remodel me into the type of lady who by no means wears thermal leggings, has an inherited house within the seventh arrondissement and doesn’t should unzip her denims after lunch.
Right here’s a little video of what I attempted on on this explicit Sézane order – keep tuned for the inevitable subsequent instalment as I’m nothing if not a glutton for punishment… For those who’re studying this by way of electronic mail subscription then the video will likely be on the finish of the put up.
I attempted:
Slim Parfait Denims in Mild Blue, Dimension 12 – £95 here* – contemplating maintaining, let me know what you assume!
Max Shirt, Very Mild Denim, Dimension 8. £95 here* – contemplating maintaining as soon as I’ve discovered at the least 3 ways to put on it, not together with “in any other case bare” or “with lace knickers” as a result of they don’t rely as outfits and I’d like all shirtmakers to know this.
Brut Attractive Denims, Indigo, Dimension 10. £95 here* – non, non, non.
Très Cliché tee, small, £50 here* – oui oui oui! Conserving.
Milo T-Shirt, £55 here* – non.
Theodora T-Shirt, £60 here* – non.
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